“Life's under no obligation to give
us what we expect.”
― Margaret Mitchell
― Margaret Mitchell
RSV Three little letters that can change a child's life forever. Three little letters that can change a family's life forever. It's crazy to think that one little virus can cause so much damage to Our Tiny Princess. It's crazy to think that something that many people get and have no idea that they carry, can put Our Tiny Princess in the PICU. On Jan 27th I was at work when I got a phone call from the daycare.
Ella was not eating.
She was sleeping a lot.
She had some rapid breathing.
My mind going a 1000 miles a minute. We were just in Houston. They said her heart was fine. Heart failure. Is this it? Are we moving to Houston? We rushed to get Ella from daycare and headed to the ER. They whisked us away to a room and started to run some tests. Sitting there I watch Our Tiny Princess pretend she was fine. She wanted to play and crawl. She didn't want to be at the hospital. She knew what that meant. It meant wires, IVs, and being confined to a bed. It meant her freedom to be a normal girl was gone.
Sitting there I watched Our Tiny Princess start to decline. The cardiologist came in and talked to us. We watched the echo and I could pick out some things but not a lot. My fears started to boil up as I fought back tears. I watched my daughter go limp and just sit there, not caring what was being done to her. She was a fighter and she stopped fighting.
The cardiologist sent us to the PICU where they ran some more tests. The ER said she didn't have RSV, but they ran the test anyways. She had a virus, but they did not know what it was. She was started on IV fluids, and IV heart medication so her heart didn't have to work so hard. We were scared and drained. I had to go to work the next day and all I wanted to do was stay with Our Tiny Princess. What if something happened and I'm at work. Would I make it back in time? What kind of mother was I to leave my fragile little girl alone? I kept telling myself that I was a strong mother that I had responsibilities. Bills had to be paid. The rest world still went on like normal even if mine was falling apart. The world didn't care if I only got 2 hours of sleep.
Being at work was torture. Checking my phone every 5 minutes while putting on my best smile. At work I found out Ella had RSV. I was terrified. RSV could kill her. RSV was horrible. We had been vaccinated. Why was this happening? The hospital talked about oxygen treatments and intubation. They said that she would get much worse before she got better. The fear was how bad would she get.
I stayed in the hospital with her during the week. She never got to the point where she needed oxygen. We watched as other kiddos did. We were lucky. The doctors thought that she was doing great because we didn't hesitate. We had her vaccinated. Her heart got a break with the IV medication so she improved amazingly. It was a feeling of elation,but also sadness. The other kiddos that were doing worse may not have been vaccinated. Why should any parent have to go though this if we have a vaccine? Yes it's like the flu shot and you are only protected by on strain. Yes it is expensive, but the PICU stay is a lot more.
Feb 2, 2012 We are home. We are happy. All Ella wants to do is play and crawl. Aubrey keeps hugging and kissing Ella. Our family is once again complete. I love every minute of having her home, but this feeling in the back of my heart worries, when will be the next time we are in the hospital? Will she go home next time? Will she still be able to fight?
